Transitions

A lot can happen in a month. Before I came and even when I first got here, a year sounded like a long time. 13 months sounded like a long time, but I was realizing the other day that I’ve already been in Honduras for 3 months now and each week feels like it’s flying by. The days are long but I have felt very present and at times very exhausted (in a great way usually). I’ll be doing a “Day in the Life” post here soon but for now I’ve been thinking a lot about transitions.

They're kind of like driving along in your car then realizing that it has wings and you  have to learn to fly or you're going to just crash and only know what its like to be on the ground.

Right now I think I can safely say that my life here is broken up into three main sections: my time in the clinic, my time in hogar, and my time with the volunteer community. I have been in a period of transition in all three areas and in very different ways. It’s a lot to reflect on and to sit down and write out, hence I have been slacking on this blogging business. I’ll start with the clinic now, my hogar later and the volunteer community will be shared in bits and pieces.

The External Clinic:

I started out in the external clinic learning the ropes from the other volunteer nurse Jen. I had to somewhat re-learn and practice starting I.V.’s, learn our check in process and pre-clinic procedure, get to know what medications we have available and their uses, etc. That part was all pretty smooth and straight forward. I found that once again, the hardest part for me has been language. The times when I ask the patient where they’re from and I can’t understand in the slightest bit what they said can be a bit ridiculous. As I’m getting familiar with names of the pueblos nearby it’s gotten easier but mistakes are so easy to do. For example, I heard a patient was from was “Port Venir” when in reality they live in “El Porvenir.” Super simple mistake but they definitely don’t live in Port Venir. I don’t think it exists.

As I got more comfortable with the clinic my first 3 weeks, I came to learn that Jen had decided to return to the U.S. and with that, I would be the coordinator of the external clinic. The news came by surprise to me as a new volunteer, but Jen’s decision was very thought out and overall the best thing for her right now. I’ve since been learning more about continuous projects I need to carry out such as Dia de Diabetes and the de-parasiting of the kids every 6 months. I’ve also transitioned into activities that keep the clinic running such as getting the weekly meds and monthly supplies from the ranch resources. So far I feel as though everything has been going smoothly and I’m at a point where if there’s something I don’t know how to do yet in regards to running the clinic, I’m not aware that I don’t know how to do it quite yet. I think I’m in a place though where I know who to ask when confusion arises.

There are some aspects of the clinic that are hard to adjust to. Well, not even adjust. There are things that are hard to realize and to understand what can be done about them, especially with limited resources. They aren’t skills to be learned, but realities about where I’m working and the population I’m working with. Here are a few thoughts:

•           We currently are in a crisis and can’t hire another nurse to run the external. I love my job, but I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of a volunteer always running the clinic.
•           Our charting system is all paper, with white pages stapled to it when more information needs to be added. If people don’t bring their carnet/other paper with their chart number on it and their name isn’t in the computer or these stacks of notecards we have then they get another new chart. We can’t afford an electronic charting system and the power isn’t always reliable, hence paper charts make sense. They make sense, but it needs some revamping about now.
•           There’s a lot of poverty. Not a surprising realization, but how do you feel ok sending someone home with vitamins and their medications when they have 3 kids with them that are all different ages but practically the same weight and they said specifically that they can only afford to eat beans. We have some resources that are provided by the ranch, but it isn’t always enough to reach everyone.
•          The clinic isn’t open all day so we can only see a limited number of patients. If there are more than can be seen or too many are let in with tickets for the day, it’s part of my job to tell them that they have to come back another day. When someone rode a bus for 3 hours starting at 4 or 5 in the morning to come see the doctor and you tell them that they can’t be seen, it feels awful. There are of course exceptions when it’s serious but there isn’t a system in order based on where people live. There are people with some of the first tickets because they live 30 minutes away but they can see the doctor and others might not be able to.  This system seems changeable.
•           The role of the nurse is different. It’s hard for me to be okay giving someone a prescription without having their chart and history to understand why they are taking each med. I can make a pretty good guess, but I need to make those connections based on something besides the typical uses of each medication. I’ve been working on this a little by sitting in with the doctor here and there but I’m still considering what can be done.
• 
  

The charts. They're about as sleek as a computer and very weather resistant.

What I see each day and the conversations I’ve had are opening me up to the reality for many people in Honduras. I feel sheltered in other aspects of my life here so I love what the external clinic has to offer. My role there has changed, my relationships with other nurses are growing, my Spanish is improving, and I’m continually getting a glimpse into the lives and health of those who live around me. Transition is a good thing.

One last bit. I’ve been reading Mountains Beyond Mountains and I’ve been trying to keep this in mind:

“You can’t sympathize with the staff too much or you risk not sympathizing with the patients.”

Much Love,

Alissa

Fast Backward

I’ve got to back-track a ways because I feel like what I’ve done since I’ve been here is important but not all worth going into great depth about. It would take way too long at this point. So here goes almost two months in a simple, picturelicious recap. So what have I done?

Had a going away celebration for the three volunteers that finished up their year at the Ranch that included having a dance party in a restaurant, getting into a Honduran club and having a gringo dance corner, and sleeping in a strange windowless hotel room and having a warm shower the next morning. 

Swam at the represa: the beautiful green surroundings and deliciously brown water. Mmm, that's what we shower in.

Scrubbed into an ACL surgery and helped out with a surgical brigade- nuff said

Dressed up in a giant mammoth costume and competed in a ton of games for our NPH Honduras Olympics GRAN MAMUUUUUUUUUUUT: We kicked some prehistoric animal butt.

Had a beautiful birthday! Pancakes, cake, hugs, and a lot of fun.

No, this poster doesn’t say Happy Birthday Talia…it says Happy Birthday Aliza- right next to the T.

Visited La Tigra National Park. Hiking, amazing views, a moon rise, incredible waterfall lunch picnic, delicious food, homemade fruit wine, jam, and bread, sunrise, telephone pictionary that almost made me pee myself and great company.

...and, so much more. I've also made my way to Valle de Angeles nearby and Comayagua for some weekend getaways. There have been countless good times so far and I am super happy to have my camera back in action after waiting two months for my charger to get to Honduras. Next up, transitions.

Much Love,

Alissa

Stories

“ I will tell you something about stories

[he said]

They aren’t just entertainment.

Don’t be fooled

They are all we have, you see.

All we have to fight off

Illness and death.

You don’t have anything

If you don’t have stories.”

Leslie Marmon Silko Ceremony

I have just finished my general orientation at NPH Honduras (Rancho Santa Fe) and it has been filled with a whirlwind of information. I have been spending every weekday night with a different house of kids (called hogares) getting to know the dynamics, the kids, and what group I might be interested in working with (boys or girls and what age range). My days have been translated into stories about my time in hogar, about where some children are coming from, about the dynamics of the organization, stories of excitement and frustration, and stories about new relationships. I realize now that within this next year, stories are all that I have to connect with those who are miles away from me wondering what this experience means. They have the power to educate, to inform and I hope to occasionally entertain. So here’s a story to give insight into my most recent beginning:

This past week (actually 2 weeks ago now) I had the opportunity to visit the Honduran equivalent of Human Services where children are brought when they need to be removed from their family situation, when their parents cannot take care of them, when they don’t have a home, or any number of situations that are unsafe and unhealthy for the child. When we had time to just play and get to know the kids, two other volunteers and I were talking with a boy who is 12 years old and had amazing English. We asked him his story. He lived with his parents on Roatan until he was 6 where he attended a bilingual school where he learned English. His parents died when he was 6 and he left Roatan to live with his grandparents who passed away when he was 8. After that he was sent to live in an orphanage that only took children until they were 9, so once he turned nine he said that he “lived with the police for a year.” I’m not exactly sure what that means, the reality may be lost in translation. He then was placed with a family who already had 9 children, so eventually they were unable to take care of him and brought him to the place we were at now. He spoke beautiful English, said that he loved to read, and that he wants to be a doctor or a translator. In his current location the kids aren’t allowed to leave for school and there are no books. After reading with him for a little while with a book that had been brought with us, we helped make him a list of new English words to study after we left. We got his name and made sure to talk to one of the directors when we returned so we could share his story and see if anything could be done so that he can come live at NPH and get an education so that he will become a doctor or a translator. It was hard to see so much potential and willingness to learn in someone without the resources to move forward. I’ll be keeping my eyes out for him this next year.

Among other things that have been happening in my time here, I have:

• Been put on the spot after a tia (tias/tios are the people that take care of the children all day in hogar) gave a scolding to the children for misbehaving while I was visiting and was asked if I had anything to say to the children…(haha umm, no thank you. I’m not quite to the point where I can give words of wisdom in Spanish to small children)
• Realized that independent of how much Spanish we hear daily, as a volunteer your English speaking abilities seem to decrease.
• Enjoyed the peace at mass when I get hugs from at least 10 kids.
• Developed a great dislike for ants.
• Found some great getaway/thinking time spots on the ranch property.
• Seen two year olds that can dance and move their hips better than me.
• Started eating spoonfuls of peanut butter.
• Realized that if you have a round face and short hair you instantly look like every other person with short hair or a round head, even if they’re Honduran. Just call me Amanda, Laura, or Yuri.

Honduras so far is…well, it’s ridiculous and interesting. Interesting but also pretty awesome. I’ve just finished my first two weeks in the clinic working as nurse now, have been assigned to an hogar, and much more. I’ll save all of that for next time and hopefully by then I'll have some photos.

Much Love,

Alissa

Explodar

“[you need to have] extreme confidence rooted in real world experience and extreme humility.”

I believe this quote was also taken from a speaker I was listening to at the AshokaU conference this past semester, but I currently can’t recall who said it. With that said, credit goes to an anonymous extraordinary.

Where the Spanish happens (mostly).

Extreme confidence rooted in real world experience. This concept can apply to each and every one of us in so many contexts. As I continue on in my life I think I will be able to apply much deeper reflections to this idea, but right now I am experiencing this challenge in regards to language and adaptation to a new culture.

What does it take to learn a new language in an unfamiliar place? I was helping Kurt come up with examples of what learning a new language is like so here’s a start. Those of you who have experienced this can add your own comparisons. Learning a language is like:

A bad pun- It’s frustratingly awesome

and

A headlamp- It’s extremely useful…if you remember it

Note: I am not a cowboy's fan but I can work as hard as a cowboy studying Spanish.

Learning a new language also takes a lot of confidence and a lot of humility. I cannot learn if I do not listen and I cannot learn if I refuse to speak. Every day it takes a lot of confidence for me to open up my mouth and know that my teacher, my host mom, and my friends are all going to correct me multiple times. Frustrating? YES. Loving and also very important? YES. So it has its benefits but there is a delicate balance between learning and assuaging my own frustrations. I absolutely love learning a new language, but there have been times when it became necessary for me to ask my teacher the word for explode because at that point in time I needed to explain to her that “Despues de estudiar los verbos irregulares, mi cabeza va a explodar.” Even now I don’t know if I said that correctly, but I basically told her that “After studying irregular verbs my head is going to explode.” Fun! Now on to humility!

Humility (adjectival form: humble) is the quality of being modest and respectful.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humility (I know wikipedia is the most reliable source on the internet so I figured I should use it)

Humility is a good trait to practice and have no matter what the situation. We could all benefit from cultivating a bit of humility. I have found it especially relevant as I am learning Spanish because for one, I couldn’t be arrogant in the language if I wanted to. I also have to openly express where I am lacking in knowledge, what I need to learn, what I didn’t practice but should have, and so on. It’s a bit crazy feeling like the person who really just doesn’t know anything but I also kind of love it because it means I have so much to learn! I’ve had to practice this as well in regards to culture. I’m always wondering “Is this question appropriate to ask?” “Is it rude that I’m too full to finish all of my chicken?” “Oh crap, should I have said usted instead of tu?” These questions seem a little ridiculous, but it can be hard to navigate everyday situations in a completely new culture without feeling like you may have done something you shouldn’t have. Even so, I’m having a glorious time (a fellow student Andrew is rubbing off on me “It was glorious!”).  And with the glorious time I’ve been having comes photos. 

Playing cribbage in beautiful places: Take one.

Sorry grandma, I had to jump off of something high into the water. It was safe though, I swear.

Baking is hard in a different country. Brown sugar? Chocolate chips? Nope.  Time to get creative.

Everything is going wonderfully!

Love from Honduras,

Alissa

Perspective

The other night I decided to take some time and compile all of the quotes I have written in my journal over the past few years. They are quotes from individuals I have encountered on trips with the University of Portland (Rural Plunge, Urban Plunge, Border Plunge, Ashoka U Social Entrepreneurship Conference/TEDx talks) as well as from some reading I have done. These were all powerful experiences. As I was perusing my old journal I was once again taken aback by the wisdom I have received from others. Just listening to others provides such great insight, but what is insight if you do nothing with it? Many of the things I’ve been told have played a part in shaping me: my beliefs, the way I view the world and others, and my actions.  I have decided that I will start each of these posts about my current life and thoughts with a quote from someone who has inspired me with their own life and thoughts.

This first one is very applicable for me right now. It was from someone giving a TED talk (if you haven’t heard of them, now is the time. Go to ted.com and be prepared for some cerebral expansion) and in all honesty I can’t pinpoint which one exactly right now but it really resonates with me currently.

“Pretend you don’t know everything, go in hungry and wide-eyed.” –Ronnie Booth

YES. I don’t know everything. Yo tengo hambre. I’m hungry for this new adventure, for stories, for extreme challenges, everything. Even the hard times are going to be completely worth it. I feel like at the moment I’m more wide-eyed than ever. Language school 4 hours a day, for 4 weeks, living with a host family, and always having to listen closely has made me even more wide-eyed that I anticipated (in many senses- literally sometimes I can’t hide the fact that I really have no idea what is going on, leaving my expression similar to this o_o)

Photo credit: Mark Schaller. A pretty typical day in Copan. 

Photo credit: Mark Schaller. Near the central park in Copan Ruinas. I spy Kurt and I...

I suppose it’s also time for an update on what I’ve been doing. Kurt (my boyfriend of 2+ years) and I left for Honduras on May 30^th. We arrived in San Pedro Sula, the commercial capital of Honduras in the evening and stayed the night in Tamarindo Hostel. We met a German guy named Mark who had been traveling the world since February and will continue until at least October and all traveled together to Copán Ruinas. In Copán we have had time to explore the Mayan ruins, a few museums, and on Monday started language school.

At a residential site in the Mayan ruins in Copan Ruinas.

Heading back for a second day was completely worth it. 

What I gathered from a second day back at the ruins was how much perspective makes a difference. We were at the same ruins, but looking at them from different areas and I was continually amazed at how beautiful everything looked from a different perspective.

 We will be staying the next few weeks with a host family and some of my fellow volunteers from NPH will arrive on Monday! My host family consists of my parents Sara and Ernesto and their two daughters Dulce and Sonja. I'll let you all know about language school, my family, and some of my new found loves of Honduras soon!

Love from Honduras,

Alissa

The Krista Foundation

This past weekend before leaving for Honduras I attended a conference sponsored by the Krista Foundation for Global Citizenship. I was nominated to be a 2012 Krista Colleague by Vicky Medley, the volunteer coordinator for NPH. I was accepted to be a colleague this year, but still only had a vague idea about what that meant. While at the conference in Spokane, it all became very clear to me and I have a newly found respect for the work that the Krista Foundation has done, what they are doing, and their future work supporting those in service around the world. I will try to do justice to the purpose and spirit of the Krista Foundation in this quick summary.

In Memory
The Krista Foundation was founded by Jim and Linda Hunt, the parents of Krista Hunt Ausland in 1999, to honor the memory of their daughter Krista. While doing service with her husband Aaron in rural Bolivia, Krista was killed in a tragic accident. Rather than surrender to their grief, the Hunts turned it into something beautiful that will continue to honor the memory of their daughter. The goal of the foundation is stated very well by them:

¨The Krista Foundation provides mentoring and support and Service and Leadership Development Grants for young adults in their twenties who are engaged in a sustained period of voluntary or vocational service...¨

The foundation provides support and training to volunteers to assist in creating global citizens. Global citizens? What does this mean, how does this happen? Well, it´s a process. A process that I started to think about and delve into during the weekend. I came out of the experience with these thoughts:

Oh myyyy. Thinking is a good thing.

I allowed myself to freak out a little. It's about time I started the process, right? Leaving for 14 months is quite a while, especially with no prior experience. So I allowed myself to actually think about the reality of what was to come and what my fears are.

- Language: My Spanish ability is nowhere near where it needs to be in order to do my job as a nurse, it will    be hard, frustrating, and my brain just might melt here and there. 

- Distance: Not only will I be separated from my family and friends, but also Kurt for the next year. It's a necessary part of this new growth but I worry about the challenges ahead. 

- Change: This one is crucial. Necessary, wonderful, yet kind of scary. I know this experience will change me, but how? It's part of the excitement and the unknown. 

-Culture: None of us can completely understand another culture. Anthropologists do their best, but outside perspectives will always play a role in how each new place is viewed. I'll adjust as best I can.

...and much more but that's a good taste.

The BIG thoughts.

A few thoughts/concepts really stuck with me during the weekend.

• Staying for tea: the practice of opening yourself up to a community and taking the time to stay for tea. Bear witness and accompany the community you're in. 
• It's about the process. If I have no physical object or concrete outcome to show for my work this next year, that's ok. It's ok, as long as I honor the process and the people. Change isn't my job. My job is to accompany, to empower, to listen. My role is to assist and be present in each moment. If something comes out of that, amazing. If not, I can still continue knowing that in one way or another I made an impact and that my work in the world is not yet done. I still have to share and to act. How? We'll see.
• Community is important: I became a part of a new community of individuals that all have very valuable and knowledge and experience to share. Knowing there are others out there I can share my experience with and know that they get it is comforting. 
• Check yo'self! By this, I mean think about your roots, your culture, and how they might influence the way you view the world. It's hard to learn when you haven't even began to analyze yourself. 

That's a start. There are more thoughts to come. With this blog, I have decided for it to be mostly musings from my time in Honduras with a sprinkle here and there of experiences. Up next: the real deal. HONDURAS! Until next time-

Much love,

Alissa

Taking the Leap

So what are you doing?
As the end of my time at the University of Portland came near, I went through a process of trying to determine what my next step was. I had a few things in mind: I want to practice public health, I want to learn Spanish, I don't want to jump right into a job working in a hospital, and I want to learn about health in a different way than I have for the past four years. Although that seems fairly straight forward, finding the right outlet for these desires was actually pretty hard. How do I serve a population in need, learn from a different culture, be practicing as a nurse without prior experience, and not have to pay someone else to let me? I scoured the internet with searches, and came upon two organizations that I decided to apply for.

1. Global Health Corp.
2. Nuestros Pequeños Hermanos (NPH) or Friends of the Orphans

 As I worked through my application for Global Health Corp I realized that I will be much more qualified at a later point in my life. The jobs were ones I could comprehend, but would be more comfortable applying myself to after much needed experience. I interviewed with NPH and have now formally accepted a position at their home in Honduras. I have also received my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing and have taken my NCLEX to become an official Registered Nurse! Alissa White, RN, BSN. It has a nice ring to it :)

 A little about NPH
Their mission statement gives a pretty good summary. "Nuestros Pequeños Hermanos™ International is a Christian mission that strives to provide a permanent family and home for orphaned, abandoned and other at-risk children who live in conditions of extreme poverty. Our programs provide quality education, health care and spiritual formation with the goal of raising good Christians and productive members of their respective societies."
 At the home in Honduras, there are around 550 children. I will be volunteering the next 13 months as a registered nurse in one of their clinics. The facilities have an internal clinic that serves the children and the population at the home, while an external clinic provides services to the surrounding communities. The home also has a fairly new surgery center that hosts medical teams throughout the year. The NPH home, or Rancho Santa Fe also has a place called Casa Pasionista, a hospice center for adults in the final stages of AIDS. The medical care provided spans across the lifespan and into many realms of health. For this in particular, I am very excited for my experience. You can check out more about the organization and the home in Honduras here:
http://www.nph.org/ws/homes/home.php?lang=en&honduras


Where am I at now? 
 As of today I am in Portland, but just for today. I recently attended an amazing conference by the Krista Foundation which I will write a post about soon. At this point in time, I have this final day to pack and spend time with friends before I depart for Honduras tomorrow morning. I will be spending my first month at Guacamaya language school in Copán, Honduras with Kurt, studying Spanish 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 4 weeks while staying with a host family. I am anticipating an amazing, yet challenging first month with plenty of time to explore and practice. In map form, here's the plan:

Kurt and I fly into San Pedro Sula and will stay one night there at a hostel. The next morning we will leave to Copán and be there until June 30th. On the 30th I will leave with a few other volunteers to Tegucigalpa, where we will be picked up by someone from NPH and taken to the home about 45 minutes away from the city. So there's a bit of background for everyone. I hope that helps clarify a little bit of what I am about to embark on. There is much more to explain and I'm sure there are many questions. My goal is to paint the picture of this experience, one step at a time, but I would love to hear from all of you. Please ask questions, comment, and share with me your lives as I will need those little tastes of home in the next year.

 Much love,
 Alissa